For whatever strange reason, “love” has been the topic of many of my conversations with several of my closest friends of late. Some want to find it, some have found it only to lose it, some think they have it, but aren’t sure, while others have it, but feel they’re losing it. And then there are a few who have it and just love it. I couldn’t imagine discussing it without reflecting on my own experience. And so tonight, I begin to take it apart, piece by piece, to ask myself what does it really mean – to me?
So I had to think about how I first met my spouse…I will spare you the humorous details, but it was funny. Past the stage of infatuation, past the stars in the eyes and the “oh he’s just perfect” and “he thinks I am, too”, I realized that the depth of love is discovered not in the beginning, but in the thick of the rough patches – and making it through them. For me, love has shown brightest in the ugliest moments.
Like, when you’re feeling the complete opposite of beautiful, but you are treated as if you look like a star. Or, when life has left you with some unwelcome blemishes, but you are convinced that you are perceived as flawless. When you feel like a failure, but the one you love picks you up and tells you it’s okay to try again. Love is what you experience when you learn to accept someone’s imperfections, shortcomings, and inhibitions and still be enamored with the reality of who they are.
I’m quick to tell people that while I’d love an everyday-all-day fairytale romance, I learned early that marriage isn’t written like a script from the movies – it is work! Quite frankly, it can be difficult to compromise. You won’t agree on everything. And you will get your feelings hurt – that’s a part of life. But…what makes the greatest difference for me, really? Is our faith. Because at the end of the day, on the few occasions where we may have disagreements, dissensions, or hurt feelings in between – we maintain the same core of beliefs; we both feel connected to Him; we both treasure divine guidance because of what we believe God intended for our marriage.
My husband and I were spatting about something recently in a most non-verbal way. (You know how you can give each other a “Don’t even” look…), and while I was blogging, he wrote me a little note on the back of a small card, gently placed on my laptop that said, “Marriage can be difficult…but, I promised to be with you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” Before I even read it, he quietly walked away. When I revisited those vows, they meant the world to me…
I wish to live my life to the fullest. Catch my dreams. Pursue my passions, but I also want to enjoy being in love and all of the discoveries that come with its growing intensities along the way. My friends whose hearts ache or are broken – I want them to find and be with the one person who will be perfect for them, because it saddens me to see their undying pain.
My friends that love being single? I want them to get as much fulfillment out of life that they possibly can without feeling the disdain of those who believe marriage is for everyone – sometimes, it is not! And to all that I know who are in strained relationships or marriages that seem broken, I hope they experience the healing that will allow them to know again what true love really is. Real love…is wonderful. It gives you a reason to live and imbues you (and your love) with the power to last.
#catchthatdream, #pursuethatpassion, #betheone, #notjustonyouranniversary, #loveeveryday, #loveforalifetime
Picture: The day I signed on to Team Brown – and never looked back.