My eyes flutter and my heart skips a beat when I see the dimple sinking into his cheek. A tiny mouth now utters giant words, and a pint-size body houses a personality that overwhelms us all. While I’m enjoying every moment, it comes with a tinge of pain – because there’s a very selfish part of me that wants him not to grow! Can I keep him in a picture frame that freezes his fervor forever?
When I look at the two year old that will soon be three, next to the giant thirteen year old that will be fourteen during the same month, I ask myself, “Where did the time go?” I already want to click rewind. All four of them seem to be slipping into manhood. I am ever reminded that I love each of them to infinity and beyond. Is it possible to slow down the time? In some ways, the answer is, “Yes.”
The closer I get to being half a century (smile), and the more I watch loved ones cross over into eternity, the more acutely I am aware of how precious time is. My body gives me other reminders of course. Unprecedented aches and pains; a stomach that’s not quite as tolerant of the extreme eats it was in high school and college, and here lately, I find words that I’m reading becoming much clearer as I push text away. I put on a pair of reading glasses in a drug store and was frightened to see my grandmother staring back at me.
Nevertheless, it compelled me to examine quite a few things. Among them was treasuring the relationships that mean the most – my children, my spouse, my family, my friends and most of all, my faith which composes my relationship with Him.
I’m convinced that our lives are the sum of many choices. What intrigues me is how many we make that we regret later. I often asked myself, “If the older me could go back and talk to the younger me, what would she say?” Since I consider myself an old soul, I decided to think forward, and apply it now.
I’ve determined to make more time to read stories. Write until my heart’s content. Go to as many games as possible. Listen to the adventures that they think are exciting which may sound crazy and/or boring to me – because it means something to them.
Take pictures every day. Eat at the table as a family in the no-devices zone. Laugh and laugh and laugh about anything and everything. Don’t be afraid to talk about the stuff that seems hard, and always find something new to love about the one I fell in love with.
As much as I adore many things about my life, I don’t always love things I see in the world around me. I feel the hate, the heartache, the heinous and the horrendous. It pains me deeply to know there is so much duress and so many who desire to inflict injury among the innocent.
I pray daily and earnestly for protection and providence, practical knowledge and patience, because I do believe that there is One love that can conquer every evil. In the meantime, I choose to share love with those who deserve it – and even those who don’t. Among them are the ones I love the most – to infinity and beyond.
Cherish your moments to love. They usually disappear far sooner than we’re ready.
#tooinfinityandbeyond #fivebabiesfourboys #IlovetolovetheonesIlovethemost #Iknowthegreatestloveofall #carlamichelle #speakerlife